PARANOIA

According to a February 7, 2012 story by Andrew Hough in The Daily Telegraph (UK), a British undercover police officer accidentally chased himself for 20 minutes:

An undercover police officer "chased himself round the streets" for 20 minutes after a CCTV operator mistook him for a suspect.

The junior officer, who has not been named, was monitoring an area hit by a series of burglaries in an unnamed market town in the country’s south.

As the probationary officer from Sussex Police searched for suspects, the camera operator radioed that he had seen someone "acting suspiciously" in the area. But he failed to realise that it was actually the plain-clothed officer he was watching on the screen, according to details leaked to an industry magazine. The operator directed the officer, who was on foot patrol, as he followed the "suspect" on camera last month, telling his colleague on the ground that he was "hot on his heels."

The officer spent around 20 minutes giving chase before a sergeant came into the CCTV control room, recognised the "suspect" and laughed hysterically at the mistake.

Chronometric innovations introduced during Year 214 by The Computer's loyal servants in Central Processing have been, through traitorous sabotage, unevenly applied. In particular, the new mandate to report all times to femtosecond precision has met with unexpected resistance, possibly due to consequent variance in reports due to the time elapsed in writing, reading, or speaking said times. CPU has determined a need for additional education. For these and other reasons, our friend The Computer has ordered Year 214 to be repeated, commencing promptly at 214.00.00.00.000000000.

The big news for PARANOIA in 2011 -- at least I hope it will turn out, in retrospect, to be big news -- was the launch of the new line of official novels from Ultraviolet Books. As I mentioned in the original Ultraviolet Books launch post, these books are never-before-published novels written by Famous Game Designers long associated with the roleplaying game. Inexpensive (holiday sale price US$2.99 apiece) and DRM-free (not copy-protected), they feature new covers by The One True PARANOIA Artist, Jim Holloway. Three novels have been posted in Kindle format on Amazon:

• S1 Reality Optional by Gareth Hanrahan
• Y1 Traitor Hangout by WJ MacGuffin
• T1 Stay Alert (Book 1 of the trilogy The Troubleshooter Rules) by me, Allen Varney

I'm editing the fourth book now, an introductory promotional anthology called The Computer is Your Friend. Soon I hope to post ePub versions of all these on many bookselling sites. Follow @UVBooks on Twitter for updates.

There will be more Ultraviolet novels in 2012 and, if all goes well, in the years beyond. In these books we're hoping to continue a tradition of smart science fiction satire in the mode of Philip K. Dick, Robert Sheckley, John Sladek, and Pohl & Kornbluth. In my view that tradition has subsided in recent decades. The audience is relatively small, and for a publishing conglomerate the finances don't make sense. But for a small, scrappy band of High Programmers -- on our own! backs to the wall! fighting The Man! -- the business case is more attractive.

The main obstacle right now is a shortage of reviews on Amazon. If you're inclined to read one of these novels and post a review, contact me at allenvarney (at) Gmail and I'll send you links to free downloads of all three books. If you're not inclined to write a review, you can find the Kindle versions of all three novels in the Ultraviolet Books Amazon store, which is spartan right now but at least includes links to current PARANOIA roleplaying books.

Speaking of which: The roleplaying year for PARANOIA was unremarkable. The only Mongoose Publishing releases were the two hardcover compilations of past missions, Flashbacks Redux and Flashbacks Redux Redux. The latter, through traitorous sabotage, accidentally reproduced the same My First Treason mission already included in Flashbacks Redux. Mongoose Publishing CEO Matthew Sprange has announced a corrective Materials Treasonously Deleted volume that will be issued free to all purchasers of the errant volume.

(The following opinions are mine alone and don't necessarily represent those of Mongoose Publishing or the owners of PARANOIA).

It seems obvious the commercial tabletop roleplaying business -- the traditional three-tier model of publisher-distributor-retailer -- is stagnant and probably moribund. When RPG.net forum members post questions like "Is the hobby doomed?" (as they do with increasing frequency), some naysayers always pipe up with, "People have been saying the hobby is doomed since the 1980s" -- as if that somehow proves the field's vitality. I never understand this; people have been saying "the RPG field is doomed" for 30 years because, hellooo, the commercial field has been visibly, provably dying for 30 years. The two temporary episodes of commercial vitality (White Wolf in the early '90s and the OGL fad) were intermissions, impermanent stalling actions in the long gradual decline of the player base since the D&D fad of 1979-82. The bright spots today, such as Pathfinder, the Old School Renaissance, retro-clones, and the effervescent indie scene -- and some other isolated examples in this cheerleading RPG.net thread, "RPGs are NOT doomed" -- aren't bringing in large numbers of new players and, more to the point, aren't earning much money.

One recent example: The finale of Greg Tito's three-part Escapist article series, "The State of Dungeons & Dragons: The Future," cites the sad condition of the field's flagship game and speculates briefly about a 5th edition rumored to arrive in 2013. Raise your hand if you think a new edition of D&D will bring lots of players back to tabletop roleplaying. Uh-huh.

But for PARANOIA, at least, there has been one hopeful sign. Though the fan site Paranoia-Live.net continued quiet in 2011, the last High Programmer still standing, Phial, has recently acquired root access from longtime P-L.net doyen Andy "Jazzer" Fitzpatrick. Phial is leading an overdue site redesign -- nothing ambitious to start, but well conceived and helpful -- that may restore vigor to PLN Sector. My congratulations and best wishes to Phial and all the loyal PLN citizens. Stay tuned.

Labels: yearinreview

Decades later, a Cold War secret is revealed (Associated Press):

DANBURY, Connecticut (AP) — For more than a decade they toiled in the strange, boxy-looking building on the hill above the municipal airport, the building with no windows (except in the cafeteria), the building filled with secrets. They wore protective white jumpsuits, and had to walk through air-shower chambers before entering the sanitized "cleanroom" where the equipment was stored. They spoke in code.

Few knew the true identity of "the customer" they met in a smoke-filled, wood-paneled conference room where the phone lines were scrambled. When they traveled, they sometimes used false names.

At one point in the 1970s there were more than 1,000 people in the Danbury area working on The Secret. [...]

It was dubbed "Big Bird" and it was considered the most successful space spy satellite program of the Cold War era. From 1971 to 1986 a total of 20 satellites were launched, each containing 60 miles (100 kilometers) of film and sophisticated cameras that orbited the earth snapping vast, panoramic photographs of the Soviet Union, China and other potential foes. The film was shot back through the earth's atmosphere in buckets that parachuted over the Pacific Ocean, where C-130 Air Force planes snagged them with grappling hooks.

The scale, ambition and sheer ingenuity of Hexagon KH-9 was breathtaking. The fact that 19 out of 20 launches were successful (the final mission blew up because the booster rockets failed) is astonishing.

So too is the human tale of the 45-year-old secret that many took to their graves. [...]

According to the National Reconnaissance Office, a single Hexagon frame covered a ground distance of 370 nautical miles (680 kilometers), about the distance from Washington to Cincinnati. Early Hexagons averaged 124 days in space, but as the satellites became more sophisticated, later missions lasted twice as long. [...] Among other successes, Hexagon is credited with providing crucial information for the Strategic Arms Limitation Talks between the United States and the Soviet Union in the 1970s.

From the outset, secrecy was a huge concern, especially in Danbury, where the intense activity of a relatively small company that had just been awarded a massive contract (the amount was not declassified) made it obvious that something big was going on. Inside the plant, it was impossible to disguise the gigantic vacuum thermal chamber where cameras were tested in extreme conditions that simulated space. There was also a "shake, rattle and roll room" to simulate conditions during launch.

"The question became, how do you hide an elephant?" a National Reconnaissance Office report stated at the time. It decided on a simple response: "What elephant?" Employees were told to ignore any questions from the media, and never confirm the slightest detail about what they worked on.

But it was impossible to conceal the launches at Vandenberg Air Force base in California, and aviation magazines made several references to "Big Bird." In 1975, a piece on the TV news magazine "60 Minutes" on space reconnaissance described an "Alice in Wonderland" world, where American and Soviet intelligence officials knew of each other's "eyes in the sky" — and other nations did, too — but no one confirmed the programs or spoke about them publicly....

Glorious comrades! The Amazing Politician, Beloved Father, Beloved and Respected Father, Beloved and Respected General, Beloved and Respected Leader, Bright Sun of Juche, Bright Sun of the 21st Century, Brilliant Leader, Commander-in-Chief, Dear Leader, Dear Leader, who is a perfect incarnation of the appearance that a leader should have, Ever-Victorious Iron-Willed Commander, Fate of the Nation, Father of the Nation, Father of the People, General, Glorious General Who Descended From Heaven, Great Defender, Great General, Great Leader of our Party and of our Nation, Great Leader, Great Leader, Great Man Who Descended From Heaven, Great Man Who Is a Man of Deeds, Great Marshal, Great Sun of The Nation, Great Sun of the 21st Century, Guarantee of the Fatherland's Unification, Guiding Star of the 21st Century, Guiding Sun Ray, Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love, His Excellency, Invincible and Ever-triumphant General, Leader of the 21st Century, Leader of the Party and the People, Leader of the Party, the country, and the Army, Leader of the Revolutionary Armed Forces, Leader, Mastermind of the Revolution, Party Center, Peerless Leader, Respected Leader, Savior, Shining Star of Paektu Mountain, Sun of Socialism, Sun of the Communist Future, Sun of the Nation, Superior Person, Supreme Leader of the Nation, Symbol of the Fatherland's Unification, The Great Sun of Life, Unique Leader, Wise Leader, and World Leader of The 21st Century has died.

Labels: glorious comrades, north korea

Attention, citizens! Throughout this Year 214 of The Computer, your friend The Computer has tracked the rapid growth of ebook publishing. Now The Computer's loyal servants in Housing Preservation and Development & Mind Control are proud to announce Ultraviolet Books, publisher of all-new official PARANOIA ebooks.

Licensed and approved by the PARANOIA owners, edited and laid out to professional standards, these DRM-free (not copy-protected), never-before-published novels are written by Famous Game Designers long associated with the roleplaying game; they feature new covers by The One True PARANOIA Artist, Jim Holloway; and they’re even for your security clearance.

The first two novels of the initial six-book license, in Kindle format, are now available for purchase and immediate download on Amazon:

• PARANOIA S1 Reality Optional by Gareth Hanrahan, designer of the 25th Anniversary rulebooks and writer of every PARANOIA RPG supplement published in the past several years. Conspiracy theorist Jerome-G, a worker in the Threat Obfuscation Department, creates fake dangers to cover up real ones. Now, somehow, his fictitious threats are turning real. Jerome-G finds a pair of experimental Augmented Reality goggles that reveal the truth behind everything -- and now he's more confused than ever.
• PARANOIA T1 Stay Alert by Allen Varney, longtime PARANOIA writer and designer of the 2004 edition. Troubleshooter Fletcher-R leads Team Rotisserie-459 on a mission to return a stolen helpbot. The bot isn't annoying or repetitious at all, no siree (“You look like you’re about to shoot your teammate! Would you like help?”). Embroiled in a gang war for control of the bot, Fletcher hopes to complete his mission before his teammates find out he's a traitor.

Two more PARANOIA books will follow later this month: Traitor Hangout by WJ MacGuffin (author of the PARANOIA RPG supplement Criminal Histories); and a promotional anthology, The Computer is Your Friend, designed to gently (well, more or less) orient new citizens of Alpha Complex.

Initially available for the Amazon Kindle family (.mobi format), the Ultraviolet Books line will soon have ePub versions suitable for the Nook, iPhone/iPad, and other e-readers. The books have no DRM (Digital Restrictions Management), so you can transport them easily among all your readers.

The Ultraviolet Books website tells more about the books and their authors, and will soon have free sample chapters and news. Sign up for the FREE (and spam-free) mailing list, and follow UVBooks on Twitter and Facebook.

At the Mongoose Publishing forum, Mongoose CEO Matthew Sprange gives his annual overview of Mongoose's past year and the one ahead. Matthew has cheery news about Mongoose's new website, the Legend (nee RuneQuest) and Traveller RPGs, Lone Wolf solo books, and the company's miniatures lines, including a Star Fleet Universe sublicense from Amarillo Design Bureau. There is hardly anything, good or bad, about PARANOIA:

Overall, the RPG market has a pulse but that is about all can be said for it (though there are high points). We think the bottom mark has been reached but that has been said many, many times before. [...] PARANOIA core books continue to be relatively strong, month in, month out, the supplements… not. A continuing conundrum for us. [...] There is a lot more happening in the Star Fleet Universe. We are currently discussing several projects, from novels through to iPhone games, and there is even talk of a PARANOIA/Star Fleet Universe crossover where players take the role of hapless away teams....

State of the Mongoose 2011

Labels: state of the mongoose

For the next seven days I (Allen Varney) will be sitting in the friendly dunking booth at RPGGeek, the roleplaying site spun off from the authoritative BoardGameGeek.com, as RPGG Geek of the Week #97. I'll be answering questions about PARANOIA and whatever else the assembled geeks wish to ask. Thanks to my predecessor, novelist and designer Matt Forbeck for inviting me.